


Sonic.EXE Recoded (Fool’s Edition)

by UmbraHog



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: April Fool’s Joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:00:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23432059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UmbraHog/pseuds/UmbraHog
Summary: 15 writers take a mediocre story about a haunted Sonic game and retool the story in its entirety. This is the result. This is… Sonic.EXE Recoded.Except it isn’t. You’ll see when you read this.
Kudos: 3





	Sonic.EXE Recoded (Fool’s Edition)

UmbraHog and 14 amazing writers present the culmination of many typed letters and sentence changing. Behold…

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SONIC.EXE RECODED

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—————————————————————

[ Sonic is running up a mountain path at a very quick pace, then runs down again. He takes a quick corner near a steep cliff. He eventually makes it to the ground and runs along a path. Tails catches up to him, flying with his tails. He waves at Sonic and shakes his hands. He lets go as Sonic suddenly stops and goes into a Spin Dash. Tails covers his eyes as Sonic suddenly dashes off at a very fast speed, causing the pathway to lift off the ground as he passes by.]

Tails:  Hey Sonic, wait up!

[Tails charges up with his tails and speeds up, chasing down Sonic. Sonic, meanwhile, stops at a dark-looking tree on top of a hill. Tails catches up.]

Sonic:  Civilization.

Tails:  Boy, I thought we'd never find it.

[They are overlooking other hills and a city in the far distance. Behind the two, Scratch is hiding in an artificial bush. Scratch pokes out his head, with a communication headset on.]

Scratch:  I'm ready, are you ready?

[ Grounder is nearby, with a communication headset as well, manning a portable control panel with a big red button.]

Grounder:  Ready...uh...tell me what I'm ready for.

Scratch:  Spring the trap!

Grounder:  I knew that!

[He presses the button on his panel, which springs two hands from the tree, grabbing Sonic and Tails and suspending them in the air. Scratch and Grounder walk over to the tree.]

Scratch:  We got ya, hedgehog!

Grounder:  Yeah! The chase is over!

[They start dancing with joy.]

Scratch/Grounder:  We did it! We did it! We did it! We did it!

Sonic:  Hold it guys, you don't want to do this.

Scratch:  Oh, don't we?

Sonic:  We may do much to each other.

Grounder:  We do?

Sonic:  Yeah, don't you remember how we first met?

Grounder:  Nope.

Sonic:  Well, it all started before you were born.

[Enter a flashback. Sonic and Tails are standing on the outskirts of an abandoned village.]

Sonic: *narrating*  Tails and I had come to this deserted village...

Tails:  Where is everybody?

[A citizen in a second-floor house pokes out of their window.]

Citizen:  We're hiding, and if you have any sense, you'll hide too!

[The citizen closes the window covers and goes back to their cover. A zipper closes the window covers and a lock shuts it even more.]

Tails:  Hiding? What from?

[The ground shakes as Sonic and Tails look over and see a large bot with a spiked vest ripping off an entire wall from a house. He walks in and points at a dog hiding behind a chair.]

Bot:  Hey lady! Which way is the bounty hunter’s convention?

[The dog screams in fear and runs away.]

Bot:  Hmm, people aren't really friendly in this town. Guess I'll just have to find it myself.

[He crashes through the wall behind the couch and continues on. Sonic and Tails hide behind a broken wall.]

Tails:  What's a bounty hunter's convention?

Sonic:  A party for bad guys, Tails, and I'm gonna crash it.

[In a plain area, a tent is set up with a flag on-top, depicting a globe in a hand-vice. It is very windy. Robotnik is addressing a large group of bots in attendance on a stage  (many of which are modelled after bots from Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine) .]

Robotnik:  I've called you all together because you're the worst assortment of low-life mercenaries I've ever made! You're mean! You're malicious! You're my kind of rotten!

[The bots cheer with joy. Sonic and Tails, meanwhile, has found the convention and listen in on Robotnik from outside. They sneak a peak inside through a curtain.]

Robotnik:  Ever since I launched my ingenious plan to conquer the planet Mobius, one trouble-making teenager has made me tear every hair from my beautiful head!

[Robotnik takes out a remote, pressing a button that moves a curtain behind him, showing a large photo of Sonic. The audience boos.]

Robotnik:  You took the words right out of my mouth! I hate that hedgehog!

[He shows his teeth, which have the word 'HATE' written on them, and they crack.]

Robotnik:  He ruins my schemes!

[The audience continues to boo. Sonic has found a free seat in the middle of the audience and listens in, nobody notices him. Sonic boos to fit in.]

Robotnik:  He escapes my traps!

[The audience boos again. Somebody throws a tomato at Sonic's picture, narrowly missing Robotnik's head.]

Robotnik:  He helps  _ nice _ _people_!

[A sign pops out of Robotnik's head stating 'Booo!'. The audience boos again, with Sonic standing in his seat booing as well.]

Robotnik:  But no more! _**No more**_! I am hereby declaring Sonic the Hedgehog as Mobius' most wanted fugitive.

[The words 'WANTED' appear over Sonic's photo.]

Robotnik:  To ensure his immediate capture, I am offering you the biggest reward in bounty hunter history...

[He presses his remote again. The phrase: 'REWARD 1,000,000,000 !!!' comes up.]

Robotnik:  _**One billion Mobiums!**_ _Alive… or otherwise!_

Sonic:  Question from the crowd.

[Robotnik looks at the audience in anger.]

Robotnik:  **_ What is it?! _ **

[The bots in the audience look at Sonic in surprise, then anger.]

Sonic:  I'm worth way more than that!

[Robotnik's head turns red as he sees Sonic. The top of his head explodes with smoke.]

Robotnik:  **_ There he is!  Get him! I want that hedgehog!! _ **

Sonic:  Whoa!

[The two bots beside Sonic stand up and try to beat him up in a flurry of smoke cover, but they fail as Sonic escapes with a Spin Dash, then dropkicks Robotnik to the ground. He grabs Robotnik's moustache and taps his foot on the ground.]

Sonic:  I'm waiting!

[He pulls the moustache and lets go, causing Robotnik great pain. He smiles triumphantly while Robotnik starts crying a waterfall. The crowd starts running at the stage.]

Robotnik:  Get him!  ** Get him!! **

[The crowd continues at the stage.]

Crowd:  We got him! We got him!

[Sonic charges up and dashes away. Robotnik attempts to grab him before he leaves the stage, but he can't grab him in time. Sonic dashes through the crowd, going underneath their legs and tripping various bots. He stops at a large green bot and holds his hand up at it while pointing elsewhere.]

Sonic:  I'm over there.

[The bot looks over as Sonic runs away. The bot scratches its head in confusion. The crowd runs at Sonic, knocking over the green bot, leaving it as a mess of mechanical parts. Tails, standing at the entrance, watches as Sonic runs at him, grabbing him and leaving.]

Sonic:  Let's go, bro!

[Sonic, with Tails in tow, runs through a desert.]

Tails:  Sonic, you're going so slow!

Sonic:  Makes you sick, doesn't it? But I want to make sure they follow me.

[They pass by a forest with a small group of the bots still in pursuit. They stop, with the spiked bot who destroyed the house leading the group.]

Spiked Bot:  Split up, and surround 'em!

[A few of the bots enter an arc of trees and stop as Sonic arrives in carnival gear with a small tent.]

Sonic:  Step right up! Step right up! Don't crowd, don't push! You'll all get a chance to see the greatest show on Mobius, and remember, for all bounty hunters, admission is free!

[He points at the entrance to the tent, opening it. The bots run in...as the other side leads to a cliff edge. They run off the edge and fall down.]

Sonic:  Guess you guys won't be staying for a second show!

[The bots crash, making the ground shake. Sonic dashes off to take care of the other bots.]

[Two bots are walking along the forest as Sonic dashes and stops infront of them. He hands them handles attached to a rope.]

Sonic:  Don't let go!

[Sonic dashes off, with the other end of the ropes tied to his body, pulling the bots with him. He jumps over a large rock, weaves between trees and goes through a hollow log. The bots end up slamming into the rock, the trees and are dragged through the log, leaving it in a tangled mess. Using his speed, Sonic dashes over a river, forcing the bots to water ski. They hit a buoy and sink, but are still holding onto the ropes, so they are dragged underwater until they make it back to the surface. They exit the water and approach a large rock wall. Sonic stops and immediately changes direction at the wall. The bots scream in fear as they approach and slam into it.]

Sonic:  Tsk, tsk, tsk. Told ya not to let go!

[He acknowledges the audience.]

Sonic:  Ya know, I sure have fun.

Spiked Bot:  The fun's over, hedgehog.

[Sonic gasps as the spiked bot is standing over him with a wooden club. Sonic acknowledges the audience again.]

Sonic:  Is he serious?

[He dashes off and stops at a tree, wearing Robin Hood gear.]

Sonic:  Ya ever play William Tell? ( Transcripter Note: William Tell was a 14th century man who shot an apple off the top of his son's head to gain freedom from a crime he committed. )

[He puts an apple on top of his head as the spiked bot gets mad. He throws the club at Sonic as he whistles, waiting. As the club approaches, he dashes off at fast speed, leaving the apple in midair. The club hits the apple and crashes into the tree. Sonic runs back and grabs the apple, which has split in half, winks at the audience and runs off as the tree starts falling down from the club impact. The spiked bot gasps as he sees the tree falling. It crashes into him.]

[Sonic catches up to Tails, who is watching from a small hill.]

Tails:  We sure showed them, didn't we, Sonic?

Sonic:  We sure did, kid!

[They both eat that apple that Sonic used earlier.]

[From his Eggmobile far away, Robotnik watches on with binoculars.]

Robotnik:  Miserable hedgehog... Okay, so I had a small setback. The battle has just begun!

[He flies back to his base, which is located on top of a mountain. A large statue of Robotnik adorns one side of the building.]

Robotnik:  It will take all my vile and wicked genius to create the perfect robots to capture that hedgehog.

[In the middle of the room is a conveyor belt with a machine at the end. Robotnik is nearby searching a closet.]

Robotnik:  I'll make them  **strong!**

[He pulls out a heavy piece of machinery, which he drops on the floor below him. He loses his balance, but regains it and searches in the closet again. He pulls out a large stuffed lion and throws it into the conveyor machine below him, with the heavy piece of machinery.]

Robotnik:  ** Fearless! **

[He throws a mask into the machine.]

Robotnik:  ** Ferocious! **

[Wearing a gas mask, he cracks open two rotten eggs over the machine.]

Robotnik:  ** Supremely rotten like me! **

[The eggs open to reveal two gooey monsters. Socks, bones and piece of metal fall out as well.]

Robotnik:  But unlike the other robots, these two will be  **_ brilliant! _ **

[He throws some academic books into the machine.]

Robotnik:  Yes!

[He throws a globe and computer into the machine. He reaches into the closet again and comes out with a mortarboard and diploma. He throws both in. He then walks over to a Human-sized switch and activates it with a goofy look. The machine starts up as he dances triumphantly over it. The door of the machine opens and Scratch comes out. He coughs as Robotnik walks over.]

Scratch: 'W-w-w-who am I? Wha-why am I here? A-A-Are you my mother?

[He extends his neck at Robotnik, forcing him back. He starts kissing him and gives him a big lick.]

Robotnik:  **_NO!_ **

[Scratch detracts his head into his body. Robotnik forces it out and stands him up. They walk away from the conveyor.]

Robotnik:  _You_ are the very first member of my new Super Special Sonic Search and Smash Squad.

[He grabs Scratch.]

Robotnik:  I have designed you to be the ultimate in hedgehog hunters. And now, to make you twice as effective, I'm gonna clone you!

Scratch:  Clone me?! Will it hurt? I can't stand pain!

[He retreats his head into his body in fear, shaking. Robotnik looks at him, double-thinking his idea.]

Robotnik:  Hmm, perhaps I made you  too chicken. Well, it won't hurt.

[He hums as he reaches over and plucks one of Scratch's feathers. He immediately jumps out.]

Scratch:  Ouch-a-doodle!

[Robotnik holds the feather over the machine.]

Robotnik:  I'll just drop your tail feather into the robo-matic machine, to produce your exact twin.

[He walks over to the switches and starts three up, looking on gleefully. One switch remains unpulled.]

Scratch:  You forgot to pull this one.

[Scratch pulls it as Robotnik looks on aghast, as he head turns into a whistle.]

Robotnik:  I didn't forget to pull that lever!

[He turns back to normal.]

Robotnik:  I'm not supposed to pull that lever!

Scratch:  How was I to know?! I was just hatched!

[He hides his head back in his body again as the machine finishes. The door opens and the conveyor activates. Robotnik is holding Scratch by his throat, with a club in his hand, as they look to see. Robotnik lets go and walks over.]

Robotnik:  _Voila!_ Your identical twin brother!

Scratch:  My twin?!

[Grounder appears on the conveyor.]

Scratch:  Am I that ugly?

Robotnik:  Hmm, that last lever caused some slight modifications. No big deal, you two are still the most fearsome fugitive finders ever built.

[Scratch walks over to Grounder, who is still on the conveyor.]

Scratch:  He made  me first, I'm his favorite.

Grounder:  Yeah?! I got more accessories, he likes me best!

[He sticks out his tongue at Scratch, and reveals a number of tools in it. Scratch looks at it in surprise. Scratch turns around and back-kicks a rock at Grounder. A disoriented Grounder shakes his head.]

Grounder:  You did that on purpose! Why you...

[Using his drill nose, he pokes Scratch in the buttocks multiple times. Robotnik, aside, is covering his ears as they fight. He looks over at a table with papers on top. He takes the table and throws it at them, stopping their feud. Their heads are stuck in the table.]

Robotnik:  **_ STOP IT! _ ** I'm ordering you to catch Sonic, now do it!

[ Coconuts enters another room through a door, talking to the audience.]

Coconuts:  Doctor Robotnik demoted me to sanitation duty. Me, Coconuts!

[He tosses an object into the room.]

Coconuts:  Well, I should be in charge of catching Sonic. He's given them my job! I'll show 'em! I'll capture Sonic first!

[He slams the door closed.]

[On a hilly plain, Sonic is zipping around, then instantly stops. Tails follows up.]

Sonic:  Whoa, time out!

[He points at a stand that is shaped like a hot dog.]

Sonic:  That's my kind of pit stop!

[He walks over with Tails following. He walks up to the hot dog stand counter and slams his hand on it.]

Sonic:  Two chili dogs to go, slow-mo, on the double.

[Coconuts is working at the stand, tending a boiling pot letting off black smoke. Sonic reacts in surprise as Coconuts doesn't acknowledge him.]

Sonic:  I'm waaaiiitiiiing!

[Coconuts doesn't acknowledge him, still tending to the pot, which has a poison logo on it. Coconuts is wearing a disguise.]

Sonic:  Hey, I'm growing a beard out here!

[Coconuts looks over and laughs happily at the audience. He jumps in the air, removes his disguise, and lands on the stand's counter.]

Coconuts:  You munched your last chili dog yesterday, hedgehog!

[He jumps back into the stand, throwing aside a stool, then pushing a table away. He presses a button beside the counter flipping over a control panel with many switches and gizmos. He laughs manically as he pulls a switch, causing the ground to shake. Still laughing, the stand moves backwards, then explodes from the ground into the sky attached to a long metal pipe. Sonic and Tails watch as the hot dog stand continues to go higher into the sky. It sprouts two arms with hands and the bottom turns into a tank-like object.]

Coconuts:  Okay! I was polite, I was reasonable! Remember, you forced me to do this!

[In the stand, Coconuts works the combination of a safe.]

Coconuts:  No half-baked hedgehog's gonna make a monkey out of me!

[He opens the safe and brings out a cowboy hat. He puts it on.]

Coconuts:  No way! No way!

[He pulls out a framed portrait of Robotnik.]

Coconuts:  In the name of Doctor Robotnik, I declare open-season on hedgehogs!

[He kisses the portrait, which reacts in disgust. He sets it down as he pulls more switches on the panel.]

Sonic:  That's the last time we ever buy chili dogs from that guy.

[One of the hands slam down in a fist, narrowly missing Sonic and Tails as they jump aside. They run off, with Tails flying, as the machine keeps throwing it's fist at the ground near them. The duo dash away but the machine follows, destroying a rock arch in its way. Coconuts jumps around the stand.]

Coconuts:  Oh! Rich, rich! This is so rich!

[He walks around gleefully, then jumps back to the panel, pulling more levers, still laughing with joy. The machine attempts to grab Sonic and Tails, but misses. It tries again, missing Tails. It tries yet again, missing Sonic. Coconuts rubs his hand together and presses a button, bringing out a large gun handle. Outside, a multitude of guns come out of the hot dog shack, aiming at Sonic and Tails. They start firing at the two, who are now dodging the gunfire and running from the machine. Coconuts is controlling the guns with the large gun handle.]

Coconuts:  You can run, but you can't hide, hedgehog!

[He continues firing while laughing, but none of the shots are hitting. Sonic and Tails increase their speed, but can't outrun the gunfire. They stop, then look back and see a tree. They run up into the tree, but the machine fires at it. Sonic jumps up out of the tree, rolls into a Spin Dash and launches himself on top of the hot dog stand. The guns on the stand flail around, firing everywhere while Tails hides in the tree. Tails runs as the stand moves down to his location, but Sonic has already started his work by bending all the guns toward the stand itself. He laughs as Coconuts aims his gun, unaware that all the guns are now aimed at him. He hits the trigger, then looks up to see the guns aimed at him. He bitess his nails in nervousness as the machine explodes from the gunfire. He lands on the ground, but is whacked in the head with one of the gun barrels and is wrapped in linked sausages.]

Sonic:  Now that's what I call the missing links.

Tails:  Sonic, I'm starving! Can we find some more chili dogs?

Sonic:  You got it, Ace, let's race!

[They both run away, leaving Coconuts behind, still wrapped in sausages.]

[Elsewhere, Scratch and Grounder are working on a scheme. Grounder is pulling on a rope, struggling hard.]

Scratch:  Okay Grounder, lower the brick wall.

[Grounder lowers his resistance, getting pulled toward a contraption holding up a huge brick wall. As he is pulled at it, the brick wall lowers. He can't hold on any longer and is launched at the contraption, dropping the brick wall and causing Scratch to jump. He falls back down with an artist's easel and beret. Grounder, holding onto the rope, is suspended above Scratch, who walks over to the brick wall and starts painting it.]

Scratch:  Give me twenty minutes to finish painting this fake landscape.

Grounder:  Then what?

[Scratch paints a couple of scenes on the wall. He points to them as he describes them.]

Scratch:  You get the hedgehog to chase you, you go by, I drop it down, and the hedgehog knocks himself out. Bwahaha!

Grounder:  Then we tie him up and collect a billion Modiums!

Scratch:  Doctor Robotnik will be so proud of me!

Grounder:  He'll be  prouder of me.

[Scratch takes out a pair of scissors and cuts the rope holding Grounder, making him fall to the ground.]

[Elsewhere, Sonic and Tails are sleeping in a grassy meadow under a tree, snoring. At the bottom of the small hill they are sleeping on, Grounder appears. He blows on his hand, expanding his other hand-drill, turning it into a pumpkin. He throws the pumpkin at Sonic, hitting his head. As he gets up, knocking over Tails as well, the pumpkin covers his head.]

Sonic:  Hey...

[Grounder laughs, getting Sonic and Tail's attention.]

Grounder:  Slowpokes, lagots, slug, bet you can't catch me!

[Sonic jumps onto the path, still with the pumpkin on his head, and chases after Grounder. As he runs, the pumpkin flies off. Tails walks over to the path, only to have the pumpkin fall on his head. Grounder leads Sonic through various curves in the path as they approach the brick wall, which is suspended again. Grounder passes by Scratch, who is hiding behind a bush holding the rope suspending the wall.]

Grounder:  Scratch, he's right behind me, get ready to drop the wall!

[Scratch lets go of the rope, but the brick wall doesn't drop. Sonic has grabbed the rope and is standing behind him.]

Sonic:  Stuck? Here, let me help ya.

[He lets go, causing the rope to hit Scratch. The wall drops just as Grounder nears it, crashing into it and breaking up. His head bounces back at Scratch and Sonic. Scratch screams at the failure of their plan.]

Sonic:  Anytime I can help like this, just let me know.

[He dashes away, leaving behind an angered Scratch and Grounder's head. Scratch picks up Grounder's head and walks over to his body, which is reassembling itself, but puts one of his treads as his head. He grabs his head, putting it in place of said tread. Scratch stands impatiently as Grounder eventually realizes his mistake and fixes himself up.]

Grounder:  No more foul-ups. Next time, we're gonna use my plan.

[He takes out a huge paper that states 'Plan B' and throws it at Scratch.]

[Along a pathway, Sonic dashes along with Tails flying behind. Further up the path, Scratch and Grounder are hiding behind a rock. Scratch, wearing a glove, pulls a string attached to it, inflating an attractive female figurine. They hide as Sonic and Tails approach, who pass by the fake figurine. Sonic eventually comes to his senses and runs back to meet the woman, and is immediately infatuated with it. The figurine rubs Sonic's chin. With his eyes closed and lips puckered, the fhgurine grabs the rock and slams it at Sonic, leaving a large bump on his head. Scratch and Grounder stand up and pull the pathway that Sonic is on, removing it and revealing a hole that he drops into.]

Grounder:  We got him!

[Sonic falls into the pit, but stops his fall by going into a Spin Dash.]

Sonic:  Robotnik should have briefed those guys about my triple spin.

[He enters into a Spin Dash and cuts into the rock wall. Scratch and Grounder are looking into the pit.]

Scratch:  How's it feel to be a prisoner, hedgehog? Huh?!

[Sonic pops out of the ground, with the duo still looking into the pit.]

Sonic:  Excuse me, gentlemen.

[Scratch and Grounder look up to see Sonic in a heavy doctor's disguise. They walk over, fooled by it.]

Sonic:  There's been an outbreak of robot chicken pox in the area.

[As the two react in fear, Sonic briefly takes off the disguise to show the audience that it is him.]

Sonic:  I'll have to perform an emergency examination, say 'ahhh!'.

[The duo stick out their extremely large tongues while Sonic takes out a tuning fork. He hits it, causing it to vibrate, then sticks it on Scratch's tongue, making him vibrate briefly. He does the same thing to Grounder.]

Sonic:  Hmm, very serious. Wait right here, don't move.

[He runs away, with the duo still holding out their tongues. Sonic runs over to Tails, who is running a crane. It drops down a see-saw with two anvils on one side. Tails moves the crane aside as Sonic jumps on the clear side of the see-saw, launching the anvils into the sky. He runs back to Scratch and Grounder.]

Sonic:  Gentlemen, what you need is more Iron in your diet.

[He runs away as the anvils drop, landing in the mouths of the duo. They swallow them, but are forced backwards, hopping into the pit from earlier. Sonic runs to the top of the pit just as they hit the bottom.]

Sonic:  Feel better?

[They respond in agony. Sonic listens in, then runs away.]

[Later, Scratch and Grounder have gotten out of the pit and are on top of a steep hill. Grounder is using one of his eyes as a telescope and is scanning the area.]

Grounder:  Here they come!

[Through the telescope, Grounder sees Sonic running with Tails flying behind.]

Grounder:  Sometimes I wish Doctor Robotnik hadn't made us so persistent.

[He flails his arm around, turning it into a harpoon launcher.]

Scratch:  He made me persistent, he made you too dumb to quit.

Grounder:  Was  that an insult?!

Scratch:  Just shoot, or you're gonna miss your chance!

[Grounder aims and fires the harpoon, attached to a rope, from his arm. He hits a tree ahead of the pathway from Sonic and Tails. Using the rope, and with a net, Grounder launches himself at the duo, and nabs Tails in the net. He continues past the tree.]

Tails:  Sonic, help!

[Sonic continues to run, looking up to see Grounder pass him and return to their hill with Tails. Scratch holds out Tails and yells at Sonic.]

Scratch:  We got your buddy, hedgehog! Don't pull any fast stuff.

Grounder:  Yeah, if you know what's good for him, you'll give yourself up.

[Sonic is standing at the bottom of the hill, raising his hands in surrender.]

Sonic:  Okay, okay, just don't hurt him!

[Sonic is now placed in a locked cage. He dashes at one of the walls, but can't penetrate it. Tails, on the other hand, is locked in a stock. He struggles to get out, but fails. Scratch is talking to Robotnik via a phone from Grounder.]

Scratch:  That's right Doctor Robotnik, we got Sonic!

[The phone's speaker turns into a mouth, speaking as Robotnik does.]

Robotnik:  **Of course you got him!** I'll be right there so you can congratulate me.

[Scratch takes the phone, pulls, than lets go, retracting it back into Grounder.]

Grounder:  I hope he brings the reward money.

[Coconuts walks over to the group with a lasso.]

Coconuts:  Forget the reward, Sonic is my prisoner!

[He tosses the lasso and successfully catches both Scratch and Grounder in it.]

Coconuts:  You think I'm gonna spend my life on sanitation duty?! No, no, no, NO!!

[He ties the two up with the rest of the rope.]

Coconuts:  Doctor Robotnik will make me head of the SSSSS Squad!

Sonic:  No way, coco-nerd. Not if those two escape.

[He looks over to see Sonic, still in the cell.]

Sonic:  That rope can break any sec. Put 'em here in the cage, the key's on Grounder's belt.

[Coconuts thinks over Sonic's idea.]

Coconuts:  Yeah, yeah, good thinking!

[Sonic gives an A-OK signal to the audience as Coconuts kicks Scratch and Grounder into the cell. Just as they enter, Sonic runs out of the cell and stops behind Coconuts, kicking him into the cell. He locks the door and dashes off to help Tails.]

Coconuts:  Hey!! Open the door! Get back here!

[Sonic gets Tails out of the stock.]

Tails:  Thanks Sonic, but I think we're in trouble… Here comes Robotnik!

[They look up to see Robotnik rushing to the area in his eggmobile.]

Sonic:  Wind up those tails, little bro. We need us a dust storm!

[He dashes off, running circles around the cell, creating a massive amount of dust in the area. He stops infront of the cell with a medical mask and suitcase with a telephone on it.]

Sonic:  Telephone repair man! I have an order to check here on Mr. Grounder's robo-commphone.

Grounder:  That's funny, it was working great a few minutes ago.

Sonic:  Over here, please!

[He reaches into the cell and opens up Grounder's stomach panel, grabbing the phone and running away with it. He stops at the outskirts of the dust cloud, speaking into the phone.]

Sonic:  This is the control tower, come in Doctor Robuttnik.

[Robotnik grabs a phone from his eggmobile as he enters the dust cloud.]

Robotnik:  I'm engulfed in a dust cloud!

[Robotnik is now fully engulfed in dust.]

Sonic:  Don't worry, I'll guide you in. Do you see the red lights?

[Robotnik opens up a hole in the dust, seeing a red light...which is actually a red flashlight being held by Tails.]

Robotnik:  I see them!

Sonic:  You are three feet above the ground, cut your engines!

[He does so, but looks back at his engine.]

Robotnik:  Uh oh.

[The eggmobile falls down directly on top of the cell, resulting in an explosion. Robotnik stands up afterwards, with a partially seared moustache. He picks up the phone.]

Robotnik:  Scratch! Grounder! Where are you!?

[Broken bits of Scratch, Grounder and Coconuts surround the area.]

Robotnik:  Pick up that phone!

[Nearby, Grounder's phone is sitting beside a recording machine.]

Recorder:  The robot you have reached has been discomboobulated, and the hedgehog you have been chasing got away. Have a nice day!

[The flashback ends, with Sonic and Tails still suspended from the tree with Scratch and Grounder listening to the story.]

Sonic:  ...and that's how all of us met.

Scratch:  I hate that story, you got away!

Grounder:  Why can't stories have happy endings?

Sonic:  Hey, this one ends real happy.

[He enters into a Spin Dash, freeing himself from the tree along with Tails. They both drop to the ground infront of Scratch and Grounder.]

Sonic:  Thanks for the memories, slow-mo!

[Scratch and Grounder jump at them, but are too slow as Sonic and Tails dash away into the distance.]

-

END

-

—————————————————————

Sonic Says

[In a desert area, Tails and Sonic are surrounded by Scratch, Grounder and Coconuts.]

Tails:  We're surrounded, Sonic, call 911!

Sonic:  No way, Tails, this is nothing! 911 is for  real emergencies.

[The trio jump at Sonic and Tails, but they are able to jump away from them in time, leaving the group in a mess.]

Sonic:  If we call 911 for assistance, someone who really needed help would be in trouble.

[A burning house is shown.]

Sonic:  If there's a fire, or someone's trying to break into your home, or somebody's been hurt, that's when you call 911. One person's dumb joke could be another person's disaster!

**Author's Note:**

> It’s finally here! After a long time of writing, the collab is finished! I hope that you enjoyed reading it as we did writing it!
> 
> By the way…
> 
> APRIL FOOLS!


End file.
